Thursday, October 27, 2011

Just In Case

We were eating lunch in a little strip mall deli, seated next to the wall as the place was pretty crowded. My husband had captured the sports section of the newspaper (score!) and was reading about the sports events he had already watched after listening to the 24 hours sports radio channel talk about the events before, during and after they happened.

My point is, he was very engrossed in reading. As usual, I was idly looking around, wishing there was a gift shop, making (silent) snide remarks about some of the other customers' attire when I looked out the front window.

A black car had pulled up and the guy driving was reaching all around with his door half open. I noticed he was donning a Santa beard, sticking a corn-cob pipe in his mouth and grasping a half empty bottle of whiskey.

Hmm, I thought. That seems a bit odd. He exited his car and I noticed he wasn't wearing a shirt, hadn't closed his Santa jacket and the jacket had Playboy written on the back.

That's weird, I said to my husband. Whmp? he mumbled. I described what I was seeing. Hmmph, he said. Oh good, he's not coming in here, I said.

But within a minute or two, the guy was back at his car looking very angry. I activated the camera function on my phone and lined up my shot. What are you doing?, hubby asked.

Well, he seems pissed and he's right in front of this big plate glass window getting into his car and I thought I should take a picture in case he crashes through. That way the cops will have his license plate#.

Hmmph, hubby said.

Oh, don't worry, I told him. Where we're sitting should be ok. I think the car will miss us and we're kinda far back for any flying glass.

This is the sort of conversation we often have/don't have (depending on which of the two participants/non-participants you query).

The good news is the guy just pulled out of the spot and drove away. The bad news? Well, my husband's sports-induced deafness apparently doesn't cover the people sitting slightly behind us and in the center of the room (or ground zero as I had called it). They seemed to lose their appetite and glared at me as they hastily left.

See what happens when you eavesdrop?

Here's my photo in case the guy hunts me down:

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